next step who knows..

Oh my goodness. I have no idea what next step in life I should take. I woah idk. I guess there really isn't too many options but that doesn't make it any easier..

I know I would love to go to college. Cost is one issue but if I really tried I know without a doubt I could have enough money to take a couple classes... the next issue is where YVCC?? hmm.

Should I not go to college and just keep working at the crappy cinema?? This is the last thing I would like to do.. but either way college or no college I will need a job but I don't like the cinema at all.

What about quiting the cinema and finding a job I actually someone can stand?? I want to work with kids so badly but day cares sound like they might be a little hard to actually get a job with.. but anything without popcorn sounds good at the moment wait no fabric either thanks.

My mind also goes to missions the thing is that is never going to put me further in life and I am not near as open about that stuff anymore so not too sure. Maybe the New York internship?? I have a friend that just got done with hers and she loved it but now she is home without a job or school and I know that is exactly where I would be so herm thinking about this I doubt this option is for me.

Anyways ramble ramble ramble. Thanks for listening...

courtroom with a little pain.. haha.

so today started out pretty good. ming and i were goin to go see marley and me and not plan anything else but just stayin home. but that ended up not working out. but it worked out semi good because missy wanted someone to go to court with her to try and bring the price of ther ticket down. anyways we got to the courtroom two minutes early in the process missing "role call" like we are in first grade or something so we had to sit and listen to all the cases some of which were really funny and you couldn't help but laugh. so yeah we were the last called after two and a half hours or so of waiting lameness. we were suppose to be called like only a half hour after waiting. missy's ticket went from almost 700 to just 125.
after all that missy wanted to go see mary get her tattoo done. yuck. i wanted to get sick the idea of stabbing a needle into your body is kinda gross. haha and mare was getting a tattoo on her stomach fixed which is a horrible thing because we are both way overly ticklish haha and she tends to cry not laugh even if you are just touching her stomach so there she lay not crying because it's hurting but crying because it tickles it was pretty funny. i haven't seen the finished tattoo because missy and i went to go get the kids. but yeah it was lookin pretty good. mary called and said she bled through her jeans kinda grosssss.

but yes that is my day. not much to it.
everything is going well for the most part minus my mom etc.
ohh but minga is like super sad which is no good so i have been trying to make her happy but it turns out i'm not very good at it... "oh well".

what did i do this time??

for the bazillion time my mom is not talknig to me.
i am always left wondering what i did to get her so pissed.
will i ever actually please her. i doubt it yet i can't seem to stop trying.
i don't want to feel guilty i want to feel happy about getting away from it all even if it is because she is mad at me.

i wonder if i am just rude and hard on her. i don't even know.

i doubt anyone will read this but anyways.


i just don't really know anymore. sometimes i wonder if she is really as bad as she seems. she can be so nice sometimes but then it all changes in a matter of hours i'm so jsghdlfksjghlsjkf i don't even know anymore.

stupid stupid stupid.

so i'm back in lame crackkkkima. no fun.. even though it's only been like a whole hour or something. the stupid thing is i realized i friggin don't work until monday that makes me so pissed. i'm a retard!!



i love visiting the breeces. i could stay there forever and ever and ever. even though after awhile i miss home but as soon as i get home i realize how much it truly sucks.



but anyways...

i had a ton of fun!

we went to see mall cop last night i loved it so hilarious! all of it!

ohh lol and we went to the mall twice i got an amazingggg shirt! and running shoes anddd a new purse that is more my age lol.



thanks for the great week guys. already miss ya!!

this picture of moses cracks me up!

freakkkky!

i'm pretty sure last night was like the scariest thing ever.

around like 1:30 i woke up because something i swear was knocking on my window super loud!

so yeah i started freaking out a little but was not about to look outside. then i decided it was nothing buttt no then it happened again then it sound like it moved to becki's grandma's window by that time i was getting super terrified that it was some animal or person trying to break in! ahhh!

so i like bolted out of my room and becki's mom was up watching some show she heard whatever that was too! and went outside to check it out but didn't find anything super scary.

haha she was like ohhh there is a ladder outside your window and i'm not sure if it was already down or if something happened and your window doesn't lock. so whatever thing it was.. was too dumb to open the friggin window thankfully!

i am just going to assume it was a crazzzzzy raccoon that was wanting food because my sister said when they knock on windows they sound just like humans.

but anyways that was my exciting night.

ps the window now has wood blocking it so all is good (: haha.

osta la vista yakima!

so i'm visiting becki and everyone right now. she came and picked me up yesterday! i love visiting here. moses and solly crack me up! there is always something going on vs. at home where its just work and home work and home nothing ever goes on. so yaaa i'm super happy to be here (:

today we went to like some hue hefner type house that in it's own way is kinda creepy but cool. becki is house watching or whatever you call it so yeah but anyways the house is right next to the green river which i have to say freaks me out the most ahhh! we went down to the river and on the way saw elk poop and it looks super strange kinda like a huge rabbit hopped across the yard or something. ohh and i convinced becki to go and get her hair cut today and when she did i started looking at those hair magazine things or whatever.. anyways so the only hair cut i like or whatever was similar to mine and i looked at the little description of the girl in the picture whatever super creeeepy but it was a twin name rose. anyways wow this blog is a ramble but who cares.

just thought i would say that enumclaw or there arounds-ish wayyy beats crappy ole yakima by a long shot.

be happy for this moment.. this moment is your life.

i am about to head to work but i decided i need to stop thinking about my problems i don't have any! my life is super good compared to a ton! so yesss i am heading to work determined to just be happy!

--> i have a mom who doesn't do drugs or beat on me.

--> a grandma who watched out for us always and still does!

--> an older sister who would be willing to beat up anyone i asked and can be super super funny when she is just a weeee drunk ;)

--> a twin that shares so many really stupid memories no one could ever understand.

--> a friend (becki) who lets me vent when ever i need to and i know wouldbe over here in a second if i needed her without a doubt. (:
-actually all the breece's are pretty grrrreat!

--> annie and brittany who in their own way always keep in touch just with some spaces is all.

--> lee who is someone everyone should have the pleasure of knowing i thank him for so much.

so yeah. i should be grateful that i have so many great people in my life. nothing super horrible has ever happened to me. i'm sure if i just go out to the store i could find someone who has gone through so much more than i could imagine so i'm just going to be happy and stop being a butt!