Friday, March 6, 2009

ramble ramble ramble

this is lame.
it hasn't been a week yet i want to give in.
my mom hasn't even tried to talk to me.
it kinda hurts to know she doesn't even bother.
does she seriously mean all she has been saying??
if she does i don't even know.
it stings to know she already is telling even people at work i'm a bad daughter and they like to go to the theatre and let me know.
lee even called to tell me.
i want to give to say sorry for whatever i did.
to say please please forgive.
to go back to the way it always is.
i'm not strong enough to put up with her games for long.
i understand no one cares about this that's totally fine to these are just my ramblings.
i don't know what has changed in my life.
i feel like i am missing more than just my mom.
much more.
this is stupid.
life is good right now for the outer stuff but the deeper stuff..
maybe it's not so great..
i have lost any kind of a relationship with my mom.
my high school friends have moved on.
which i totally don't blame i mean come on they went to college.
and church/faith/ anything of that sort..
is the last thing i seem to want to think about.
i tried and worked to grow in my faith.
i was loving it. but then it just ended.
i'm getting back to the same place i was junior year.
it's so weird. yeah idk.
like i said just ramblings.
time goes and you don't even notice.
anyways it's late so i am loggin off.